J. Edgar Turtle


Confucious say, “Lady who fly plane with head down have crack up!”

P. Cavanaugh
First Grade
Madison Elementary
Syracuse, New York (1947)

I learned such improper prose from an older cousin, John Evans, who would, at all times displaying a true sense of torturous terror, hit us, trip us and nail us in the ass with Daisy Rifle BB pellets.

Thirty years later, in 1977, my mother, wife and four daughters spent one Saturday morning cleaning my apartment near WTAC as I slept on a couch. I didn’t actually live there most of the time, but was quite convincing in establishing a critical need for quiet – a separate space for creative efforts away from the distraction of family frenzy. It was also lovely having a party zone for entertaining countless friends and strangers at closing time, Propriety and common sense suggest no need for further elaboration. The fact is, however, that I actually did write a few things over the six months “Peter’s Play Pen” rocked and rollicked.

Thirty years later, in 2007, I uncovered five handwritten, single-spaced legal pads filled with fanciful froth, stashed away in an old cardboard box, forgotten like a buried beagle.

Here is the distillation of six months’ frolic:

“The embracement of Rock ‘n Roll music centers everything.”

“Although one can be locked into a situation or system which prohibits spiritual or philosophical extension beyond defined perimeters, enclosures exist more to keep the unendorsed out as they do to preserve the approved. A wilfull decision to accept erroneously formulated notions as personal judgment is self-imposed confinement. You are your own jailer. The key to free is a single thought away. “

“You are whomever, whatever, wherever and whenever you wish to be.”

That’s 1,756 words reduced to 87.


This I believe.

But in This Place, people believe anything. Anything at all.

Blame it on the attraction of distraction.

Hard answers aren’t easily found and it’s tempting to settle for not quite enough. Joni Mitchell’s right. There’s darkness everywhere a little light shines.

“Equations of Mathematics are the Thoughts of God.”

Srinivasa Ramanujan–Indian Mathematician and Mystic–1917

Ramanujan was born in 1887 and died in 1920 at the age of 32. He is one of India’s legendary intellectual heroes, a true genius who ascribed his brilliance to a personal relationship with a Hindu Goddess.

`After seeing in dreams the drops of blood that heralded the presence of the god
Narasimha, the male consort of the goddess Namagiri, scrolls containing the most complicated mathematics used to unfold before his eyes”.

An ABC News Survey reports that 91% of Americans say they believe in God. That’s the right thing to do. It seems safe to conjecture that a similar percentage would condemn strangling orphans, eating hair or drinking Draino, while affirming Motherhood, Brotherhood and, for Social Progressives, Robin Hood. These things, if of lesser importance, enjoy similar propriety. Yet in This Place, that of supreme relevance is least and last understood. Around the world, tens of millions have died for that of which they actually know nothing, “belief” placing a definable, perilous limitation on knowledge. Such universal martyrs have been on all sides, in all places, at all times – bitterly ubiquitous.

Like Donald Duck. Who wears no pants. Except when swimming.

Go figure.

Did you know we’ll all be naked in Heaven? That’s how Michelangelo saw things.With genitals! Full frontal nudes! Angels at all angles!

“My soul can find no staircase to heaven unless it be through earth’s loveliness”

Buonarroti Michelangelo- (1504) –(Italian sculptor, painter, architect & poet)

Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel masterpiece in the Vatican heart of Roman Catholicism was a swirling, twirling batch of bare, fig leaves added in later times to spare the blushes of Catholic clergy.

Buonarroti Michelangelo is generally considered the creator of the Renaissance.

The word Renaissance (French for ‘rebirth’) was first used to define an era that
followed the Middle Ages and preceded the Reformation, roughly the 14th through the 16th century. Its primary feature was the revival of intellectual exploration through the advancement of science. Renaissance is sometimes referenced to describe other important moments of historical and cultural significance.

“I just had this weird cool thought. I don’t think any of us realize just how momentus the whole time was and not just in the context of . “Oh, wow! That was “The ‘60’s!” I honestly believe that historians and anthropologists will look at our time the way we look at The Rennasisance and that these moments only occur every few hundred years.”

Michael Moore – 2002 – Michigan writer, author, producer, director & WWCK talk show host.

In the 40th Anniversary Edition of Rolling Stone Magazine, Michael elaborated:

“I wouldn’t have been able to do what I’ve done if I hadn’t grown-up in an area that had such a vibrant and rebellious political and cultural scene. The music was so integrated into your experience as a teenager. Everyone knows about Woodstock, but we had our own mini-Woodstock every Wednesday, every summer, just outside Flint. It was called Wild Wednesday. It was in a field with a big pond, and it was the first place that people saw so many of these groups, like MC5, Iggy, Seger. We’d literally be there every Wednesday from Noon to Midnight. Thousands would show up. And out of that grew the protests.You’d have a group of high school students planning a walkout. Maybe it was just over how lousy the food was at the lunch counter at school. It wasn’t like, “Here’s the political thing.” It was all woven together in the same sort of rebellious, rock & roll attitude. When you said rock & roll, it wasn’t just the music. You meant it as a way of life, as a coat of armor against everything that was coming at you. It was a force to be reckoned with. In my mind, there would be no “Roger & Me”, no “Fahrenheit 9/11″ if I had not been one of thousands participating in that moment. And the millions who go to Fahrenheit carry that with them as well. They were there at Wild Wednesday too.”

You can see a drawing of Mike on my website, wildwednesday.com, under “Contact”. He’s at the very bottom, holding up all the rest. Michael’s like that turtle of ancient Onondaga Indian lore carrying all of the earth on his back – “This Place” on a shell. Underneath, I’ve written:

“Moore is a Well-Behaved Young Man Who Plays Nicely With Fellow Concert-Goers” –J. Edgar Hoover (1970) .

That’s something I made up, just as the Onondagas did that Turtle. Even at 16, Michael Moore would never waste any time with J. Edgar Hoover.

Hoover was homosexual, cross-dressing head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation just about forever (1924 to 1972) and, speaking of head, lived on the closet closest of terms with Assistant Director, Clyde Tolson, both of them constantly on guard against gays in the Bureau. When Hoover died, Tolson inherited everything and moved into Hoover’s house. J. Edgar hated Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King and John Lennon.

Upon learning of Hoover’s passage back in ‘72, Richard Nixon offered this tender epitaph:

“Jesus Christ, that old cocksucker!”

Imagine that?

The 37th President of the United States of America saying “ Jesus Christ” and “cocksucker” in the same sentence?


Like the one Jesus married?

Easy now.

For it has been announced by James Cameron that Jesus of Nazareth might have married Mary of Magdala, that they were buried together along with the Virgin Mary and perhaps even the Virgin Mary’s grandson, Judah.

Coffins were carted forth.

James Cameron!

The most successful film director in human history!

Jesus Christ, Avatar?

Talk about the you know what hitting the you know where!

Magdala is a town on the western shore of Lake Galilee.

Mary Magdalene is noted as having been given to sexual impropriety in several ancient texts, including some that didn’t make final cut into the New Testament. Mary
Magdalene’s own Gospel was also erased from the last mix. Since “God’s” final editors were exclusively male, this should come as no surprise, forgive such verb in
the context herein used..

“God” left almost everything important up to men for thousands of years. With four daughters and four granddaughters, I think this sucks. Worse than sucking cocks.

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