“Chicken ala Boehner”

John Boehner is my daughter, Colleen’s, Congressman.

Colleen lives in Middletown, Ohio, smack dab in the middle of Ohio’s 8th Congressional District, which encompasses a primarily rural area on the Indiana border north of Cincinnati. Ohio’s 8th is carved up quite like our own California 19th. It’s voted solid Republican since the end of the ‘30’s.

Colleen and husband, Lindsey, staunch Republicans, report they like Boehner and that his office “really came through” when they spent a week in Washington earlier this year. It was cherry blossom time.

John’s been Congressman in Colleen’s District for the last twenty years.

His immediate predecessor, Donald Edgar “Buz” Lukens, was highly regarded as a rising “Family Values” star in Ohio Conservative politics until being forced to resign following conviction for “contributing to the delinquency of a minor”, a nice way of describing paid sex with a 16 year old. “Buz” was also sentenced to 30 months in Federal Prison for accepting countless bribes in office. But “Buz” could always be counted on to vote straight party line. Period. Always. “NTN!” “No Thinking Necessary!”

And so it was when our soon to be Speaker of the House of Representatives, third in line to the American Presidency, eloquently summarized his reaction to a long overdue House vote on preserving tax breaks for 98% of us with the words — “Chicken crap” — it brought to mind a perfect illustration of how things really work in Washington on the right side of the aisle.

Colonel Tom Parker was a one-time carnival huckster and country music promoter, who become almost as famous as his phenomenally successful protege, Elvis Presley. But it was in those early years way before “The King of Rock ‘n Roll” that “Colonel” Parker” pulled off some of his most incredible exploits. One of my all time favorites was an act called, “Colonel Parker’s Amazing Dancing Chickens.” In return for a nickel admission price, every paying customer left dazed, dazzled and thoroughly satisfied with an astounding performance that delivered all it promised and then some.

Colonel Parker would begin his presentation with a brief commentary on the time, effort and inestimable genius required in teaching chickens how to dance, then pull back the curtain on a dozen caged chickens walking randomly about in feathered frenzy as only chickens do. Parker would then drop the needle on an old RCA “Victrola”, filling the room with a scratchy, but clearly audible version of “Turkey in the Straw.” AND! THE CHICKENS ALL DANCED. IN UNISON. When the song ended — THEY STOPPED!

What went unseen was that the floor of the elevated cage was actually an electric hot plate, triggered “on” by starting the Victrola and “off” by stopping it.

Voila!

Dancing Chickens!

Just a day before Congressman Boehner’s “Chicken crap” commentary, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell delivered a letter to Majority Leader Harry Reid announcing that no Republicans would vote for ANYTHING on ANY SUBJECT until the top 2% income earners in our country got to keep their Bush era tax breaks. It was signed by all forty sitting Republican Senators without exception.

It’s the same in the House.

On January 28, 2009, The House voted to approve the Stimulus Bill 244 to 188 with not one single Republican vote. On March 27, 2010, The Health Reform Bill was approved 219 to 212 with every Republican voting against the measure.

Dancing Chickens!

The Colonel would be proud.

But whose hand is on the needle now?

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